Interior Castle: A Return To Blarging

"I really think I have little to say that I have not already said
in other books which I have been commanded to write; indeed, I am
afraid that I shall do little but repeat myself, for I write as
mechanically as birds taught to speak, which, knowing nothing
but what is taught them and what they hear, repeat the same things
again and again. If the Lord wishes me to say anything new, His
Majesty will teach it me or be pleased to recall to my memory what
I have said on former occasions; and I should be quite satisfied
with this, for my memory is so bad that I should be delighted if I
could manage to write down a few of the things which people have
considered well said, so that they should not be lost. If the Lord
should not grant me as much as this, I shall still be the better
for having tried, even if this writing under obedience tires me
and makes my head worse, and if no one finds what I say of any
profit.


And so I begin to fulfill my obligation on this Day of the Holy
Trinity, in the year MDLXXVII, in this convent of St. Joseph of
Carmel in Toledo, where I am at this present, submitting myself as
regards all that I say to the judgment of those who have commanded
me to write, and who are persons of great learning. If I should
say anything that is not in conformity with what is held by the
Holy Roman Catholic Church, it will be through ignorance and not
through malice. This may be taken as certain, and also that,
through God's goodness, I am, and shall always be, as I always
have been, subject to her. May He be for ever blessed and
glorified. Amen."


I decided to brush up on my 16th century literature this week, so I returned to an old classic of a friend (by "returned," I mean start again after having previously only made it fifteen pages in; and by "friend," I mean beast of a book that will hopefully replace my dim-witted idea of prayer with a more Promethean exploration of Unity with God) in Interior Castle by Teresa of Avila

I haven't, however, written anything since *see previous post* so I will focus my attention and efforts on this short little pearl I found at the beginning of the book. It strikes me in so many ways, so immediately. Her humility in the first few lines here is impressive, and I could quite easily model my entire life after the simple and dutiful way she approaches even writing about God. "I am afraid that I shall do little but repeat myself, for I write as mechanically as birds taught to speak...which...repeat the same things again and again. If the Lord wishes me to say anything new, His Majesty will teach it me or be pleased to recall to my memory what I have said on former occasions... If the Lord should not grant me as much as this, I shall still be the better
for having tried."

In more recent history, it seems like people write so freely and without caution about God that regardless of whether they speak any truth at all it feels disdainful when I read these words by Teresa of Avila. That's not to say that I don't or haven't in the past found some of these writers faith-inspiring, but the replacing of candor with reverence, of presumption with hopeful accuracy is so refreshing. "If I should say anything that is not in conformity with what is held by the Holy Roman Catholic Church, it will be through ignorance and not through malice."
It seems crazy to find a person whose devotion to her church is so strong that she seeks only to speak words of reinforcement and affirmation. It seems like so many chapters of books about God start with phrases like, "What if," that it is so cool to start Chapter 1 of Interior Castle with, "While I was beseeching Our Lord to-day that He would speak through me..."

I know, I know, make a point, David. But it's these little things at the beginning of a new read that really capture my fancy and excite me. It reminds me that there is so much history behind that which I model my life around. There were so many brilliantly devoted people in this Faith, and that's awesome.